Thursday, May 31, 2012

Guest Blogger S.A. Garcia

Today I'm welcoming author S.A. Garcia who has bravely answered my infamous Rick Reed questions! She's going to talk about her latest release, An Elf For All Centuries. But first, a libation. Care for a mimosa, my dear? Why don't you answer the questions, and I'll get those started.

Hey, thanks to Julie for letting me romp in her playpen. I, S.A. Garcia, have accepted the challenge of the infamous Rick Reed questions. I swear to answer them truthfully no matter how peculiar they make me sound. I accept my weirdo position in life.

1)      You’re marooned on a small island with one person and one item of your choice—who is that person and what item do you have?

I should say my partner of 25 plus years. I mean that is the loyal, true-blue answer. The trouble is she’s not very “survival” oriented and beside, why should I make her suffer? I’d rather have her screaming, “Find her or I will kill you a million times,” at the Coast Guard.

If I am marooned, I want someone clever like MacGyver who will build a palace using three palm trees. My one item would be a fabricator from the starship Enterprise, so we could enjoy a fine selection of fancy food and wine while MacGyver builds our rescue boat using the other palm trees. Oh, and I get to keep the fabricator after rescue.

2)      Which musical would you say best exemplifies your life – and which character in that musical are you?

A musical, eh? My mom loved musicals and played them all the time which instilled loathing for them in me. That’s how she used to wake me up when I slept in on a Saturday, play a musical. Yeaaaah. Let me think. Okay, I have it! The Beatle’s “Yellow Submarine” because I often fight against the Blue Meanies who want to ruin the world and make it a sad place. I would be Jeremy Hilary Boob PhD a.k.a. Nowhere Man who helps save the day.

3)      Take these three words and give me a 100 word or less scenario using them:  load, drastic, steady:

(My character needs to sneak in here).

Fabion collapsed back and shook his head. Fuck, he had shot off quite a load of spunk into his hand. Wiping the mess on the silk sheet seemed rude. He decided to get off his lazy ass and use a towel in the bathroom.

People always seem willing to take drastic measures in stories even when the situations don’t call for such an extreme solution. Why don’t they stop panicking, sit down, and talk things over?

Time to leap up and strike. Fabion hurled himself against Henda's body and hoped that his steady aim worked. If he missed, they would thump to the floor in a so-not-cool clump. Instead, the couch caught the backs of Henda's knees. Pushing forward, Fabion landed on top of one extremely shocked king. He planted his lips against Henda's.

4)      You’ve just been let loose in the world of fiction, with permission to do anyone you want. Who do you fuck first and why?

Lara Croft. Look at her. Need you ask why I would want to tongue wrestle with her? Of course I would let her win and have her way with me. For as long as she wants. Longer, especially if she uses her braids in strategic places.

5)      What is your idea of how to spend romantic time with your significant other?

When it comes to romance, we are actually sorta dull. The current most romantic thing we do is to light as many candles as possible without going up in flames and drink either mint juleps or margaritas on the mosquito-infested back porch during sun set. Yeah, we’re pretty dull plus we do a lot of slapping. Maybe that’s sexy, but not when my amore yells, “There a skeeter on your chest,” and knocks the wind out of me with a backhand to the breastbone.

Hey, maybe MacGyver can swing by and build us an invisible skeeter barrier using twist ties and spit. Next, he can build a backyard waterfall using a sprinkling can and a trash bag. A cute fire pit constructed from six matches and a brick sounds cool.

6)      When you start a new story, do you begin with a character, or a plot?

I hate to be a weenie and say sometimes both, but it is true. I don’t have a cut and dried way of creating a book. I usually jump into the current and slam against the rocks for a while. I will say in “An Elf for All Centuries” the story started with a character because I dreamed about the character, or a character similar to Fabion. The character fell from the sky into a mud puddle and pitched a major shit fit. The dream set the stage for the book.

7)      If they were to make the story of your life into a movie, who should play you?

A movie about my life could be like that Andy Warhol film where he filmed the Empire State Building for hours. Me sitting here typing, cursing, and drinking. Let’s see, Janeane Garofalo sounds about right to play me. She’s around the same age, has a similar bleak outlook on life and is about the same general physical appearance, although she’s much prettier. Janeane could stop and rant during her typing sprees.

My partner suggested Lily Taylor. She’s also too pretty.

8)      Who’s your favorite horror villain and why?

Arrrrgh! There are too many good ones. I grew up watching cheesy horror flicks. Instead of playing outside on a Saturday afternoon, I was the geek inside watching Dr. Shock’s Creature Double Feature while trying to build elaborate playing card palaces. Really, if you connect the dots, what I write makes sense.

I will go with a demon from the 1957 movie “Night of the Demon”, a UK horror flick. When I was a kid, that movie scared the jeepers, peepers, and bleeper out of me. The concept that the big scary demon just randomly appeared out of a mystical fog spooked me. The idea that a baddie could tuck a piece of rune-coated paper into your pocket and set you up as demon bait also spooked me. It is a cool flick.

I need also need to give a shout out to the original “Children of the Damned.” I felt like I attended school with a few of those evil little bastards.

9)      Do you have an historical crush and if so, who is it?

Queen Elizabeth is damned sexy due to her power. When I was little, I read everything I could find on Benjamin Franklin. Alas, the attraction has waned.

10)   Is there a story that you’d like to tell but you think the world isn’t ready to receive it?

Yes, I do have such a story. It’s called “Needy”. A gay couple goes hiking in the Sierra Nevadas and one of the couple, after he finds something awful, ends up possessed by a control freak serial killer. After quite a few rejections, I have determined there is too much gay male romance for the horror houses and too many explicit, abusive sex scenes for the usual m/m pubs. After one editor offered me good insight, I set the novel aside to re-work the problem areas. Someday the story will see the light of day!

Whew, I survived the questions. Sounds like a good time to release the excerpt!


Elf Prince Fabion enjoys the perfect supermodel lifestyle until wizard Matradorian chucks him back in time to save Henda, the sexy, powerful elf king. Since the death of his lover, Henda has lingered in a half-alive, half-dead state. Surprisingly, Fabion is a spiritual match for Henda's dead lover, so only he can save the dying king. 
Fabion uses his sexy bod and sweet lovin' to revive the elf king. All seems well until he realizes that by saving Henda, his own timeline was destroyed and he must stay in this ancient land forever. Fabion pitches the biggest temper tantrum of any century.
Soon a new threat emerges which puts his life in fresh danger. Now who wants to kill him?

Henda bodyslammed Fabion into the sitting room table. Unnngh… wow, the hard, wooden table sure abused the spine. The frenzied Fabion was too busy holding on and gasping in wet, hot pleasure to protest. Fuck. Amazing. Did his powerful Henda have a cock or a telephone pole swinging between his thighs? Whatever this potent male swirled around in Fabion's ass sure made Fabion experience twinkling stars, shimmering comets, and strange, lime-green light flashes. He imagined himself as a cup of coffee violently stirred by one long, hard spoon. Ouch, did those green flashes mean brain damage? His head had bounced off the sitting room wall pretty damned hard.

Crap-a doodle-doo-ooo-oo-ouch!

"Henda, what the hell are you—ooo—"

The powerful elf yanked him off the table and maneuvered them toward the bedroom. Fabion wrapped around Henda, laughed, and enjoyed the sexy ride down the hall. Yee-hah! As he walked, Henda continued jamming the pile driver into Fabion. Amazing. Yeee-haaa redux. The big dude hid hydraulics in his wicked cock!

Henda's wanton actions stunned Fabion. Imagine, he had coaxed the stately big dude into acting like a rampaging sexual demon.

Pained ecstasy made Fabion whoop in amazement.

His smiling big dude gasped out a teasing question. "Am I too much for my youthful one?"

When he controlled his own gasping, Fabion nipped at Henda's smiling lips. "Keep bringing it on, you wild thing! This is where I need you to be my perpetual motion machine. You can do me until I pass out. This is… you are… ooo, yeah, baby, please—"

Fabion squirmed in fresh joy. He bounced his ass up and down. He hoped his big dude managed not to drop him even as he tried forcing Henda to come before they reached the bed.

Loud gasps threatened their progress. "My love, I hate to admit the fact, but throwing you across the various surfaces exhausts even my royal stamina. Do you mind if we end our epic round of sex in our bed? I love ending in a traditional manner."

"Traditional? You're funny, Big Dude." Fabion rolled his inner ass muscles.

"You are a lovely tease." Henda carefully positioned them to drop in swift grace.

Fabion's torso sunk into the bed. His pillow cradled his head. He stared up at Henda in amazement. "Big Dude, wow, what skillful aim. Thanks for not dropping me on the floor."

"You act so dazed with sexual glory, I wonder if you would even notice."

"You gotta point and wow, one fabulous point deep where it counts!"

Crooning in merry lust, Fabion arched his neck back and rolled his head against the feather pillow. He kept his long legs wrapped around Henda's perfect waist. Wow-wowie. Yooowww, whatever happened deep inside him defined killer. "Hey, Big Dude, do that trick again."

Henda chuckled softly and maneuvered his hips slightly to the left. "Is this what my darling one needs?"

"Woo, absolutely, Big Dude. Lover, are you sick of me—ooo, yeah—telling you how sublimely boffo you are?"

Another chuckle escaped Henda's panting throat. "Boffo? Trust me, Fabion, you are the first one to call me boffo. I gather boffo is a pleasant thing to be?"

Fabion managed to laugh through his impending blast off. "Absolutely, Big Dude. Boffo ranks right up there with killer."

Henda arched his back toward the ceiling. Yeow, perfect, the big dude slowly drove his cock back into Fabion in hard, incremental thrusts. His lover understood when to slow down the show. Excellent.

"You are killer boffo."

Henda smiled over Fabion's ecstatic face. "My dear beauty, you and I are going to sit down with a few bottles of, as you call it, tree sap vino and detail your strange utterances. How is killer a good thing?"

"Trust me, you studly elf, it is a compliment, like me saying 'I dig how you do the nasty'. Crap, holy cats, lover, how do you make your amazing dick twist radically hard? Your new treat is wickedly hot."

"My Fabion, tell me what pleases you, and I shall perform the act until you cannot stand the pleasure. I hate to sound boastful, but I can satisfy a lover for hours. Actually, since we act lively here, I fear I will not hold out as long as usual. I confess I am at physical limit."

Whew, cool to realize Henda also suffered from exhaustion. Fabion felt less wimpy.

Who Am I?

Thirty years ago, I started writing m/m romance. My writing remained a secret lest my friends thought me a freak. Writing about men inserting tab A into slot B didn’t seem the norm for a female teenager. Reading Gordon Merrick, John Rechy and Larry Kramer helped me fill in informational gaps. Yes, I read those books only in my bedroom.

As the years progressed and I discovered my sexual path, I still wrote m/m romance, although the stories progressed from lurking in notebooks to hiding on the computer.

Now I am glad I kept the writing faith. Five published novellas and novels later, my life is a fun quandary of too many stories hindered by slow typing skills. I accept the silly challenge.

Facebook: Sandra Ann Garcia

Twitter: @SAGarcia_Writer


Wow, that sounds... damn hot, I'm not gonna lie there.

Thanks for stopping by, it's been a pleasure. Care for another mimosa?

Until next time, take care!

♥ Julie


  1. OMG I laughed all the way through the excerpt! That was great (and hot, too)!


  2. Fabion is one helluva character! Thanks!

  3. Julie, THANK YOU for adding in the artwork. *smooches*

    1. You're very welcome! *blushes and smooches back* Thanks for being at my blog today, and sharing some mimosas with me :)

  4. Great interview S.A.! Book sounds awesome. I'll need to add it to my TBR pile. :-)

  5. Julie gave me hilarious questions to work with which granted me great fun.

    Fabion thanks you for adding the book to your TBR pile. Between you and me, he thinks it means "the boffo read" pile. I'm not contradicting him. There's no point.