Guest Blogger Winnie Krapski

Happy Friday and please welcome my friend and fellow author, Lorrie Struiff talking about her alter ego, Winnie Krapski, star of her series, Call On the Dead Club. Does the idea of being able to communicate with the afterlife intrigue you? Pull up a chair and join us! Lorrie is also going to tell us about Winnie-isms!

Hi Julie, my friend. I’m back again!

Thanks so much for having me here. Today I want to write about my COD Club Series. (Call on the Dead Club)

I guess I have a morbid sense of humor. If people knew when they were going to die, I’ve always wondered what would be their one last wish. Then I thought, why not give it to them after they die. Ergo Winnie Krapski became the character that could do just that.

Sometimes, she scares me. I think she is my alter ego. I laugh at the dumb things I do, at some situations I get myself into, and I have gotten into the habit of calling them Winnie-isms.

I know we all have them. True story here.

For instance, picture this Winnie-ism.

A hard rainy day and I had to run errands. My car dash lit up with LRR tire low. Okay, my left rear tire was low. The rain stopped, but the ground was still wet. I stopped at the gas station and pulled up to the air hose. Now mind you, there was at least a quarter inch of water still covering the concrete at the station. Knowing nothing about tire pressure blah, blah, blah, a very nice man offered to help me. Wasn’t that sweet of him? I confessed I didn’t know a thing about how to do this.

Anyway, it’s sprinkling a little now, and he drags the air hose to my left rear tire and tells me to bend over so I can watch what he is doing and how the gauge of the hose works.

 Big mistake.

I squatted near the left tire and watched while he explained. Then, oh, oh, I couldn’t get up. Nothing to hold onto. The car was too slippery wet for a handhold and nothing else was handy.

I fell flat on my fanny in the water. Yep, the back and legs of my jeans got soaked. The man felt bad and reached a hand to pull me up.

Second big mistake.

He couldn’t pull me up and fell onto his knees. Ergo, the nice man with wet pants. Now, I’m holding back laughing at the situation, biting my tongue to keep in that belly laugh. Yep, odd sense of humor. Anyway, we both got to our feet somehow, (I wonder if I gave him a hernia?) I thanked him, and sloppy wet, I got into my car to go home and change. Once in the car the laugh did explode until tears were in my eyes. I’m so bad.

The upshot of the whole thing was, sure LRR tire low turned out to be LOW RIGHT TIRE as I found out later. It was not the low left tire at all. How’s that for a fun day?

That was only one Winnie-ism of many in my life.

So, my character Winnie goes a bit further by getting into all sorts of trouble by granting the dead one last reasonable request. She and her cohort, Fat Phil Phillips of the COD Club, are a great team.

Who else could get arrested by the police, tip a body out of a casket, get chased by bank robbers, get mixed up with the FBI, follow cheating husbands ,and steal money? Only our spook-speaking Winnie. And all in the first download. Get your copy soon and enjoy my quirky Winnie’s adventures.

Buy site.

http://www.amazon.com/Unwanted-Gift-Going-Style-ebook/dp/B009CZYE9C/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348237239&sr=1-9&keywords=lorrie+unites-struiff

Tiny excerpts.

At the podium, Phil ran his thick palm across his comb-over, then pointed to the map tacked to the wall.

Various colors portrayed sections of our fair town of Citiesville. In the purple, my name stood out in heavy black lettering. “This will be Winnie’s target area. Everyone okay with that?”

A collective, “Yes,” too eagerly shouted, sent a foreboding shiver up my spine.

We stood and repeated the pledge:

“I will faithfully read the daily obituary column.

I will visit the dead in my designated area, avoiding visiting hours, and ask if they have one last request.

I will perform said request to the best of my ability and vow to return with an honest report before the casket’s final closing, at which time their spirit will forever leave this earthly plane.”

What had Fat Phil talked me into?

***

      Maxwell sighed and sifted through the papers on his desk. He chose one and handed it to me.

     The thermostat felt as though it was set at ninety, an uncomfortable contrast to the wind and snow whipping around outside the window. I pushed my salt and pepper curls off my damp forehead. Sweat trickled beneath my sweatshirt―or maybe I was havening a belated hot flash.

      I read the notes. Jack Daniels, AKA Double Shot, and his two unidentified buddies had pulled four bank robberies in the last couple of months in two states. They’d stolen over a million bucks. Double Shot tripped off a curb during the last heist and fell into the street. Then the getaway driver made a pancake out of him in his hurry to flee the scene.

“Well,” I glanced up, “it’s not like I can beat a confession out of his dead body, so what you do you need?”

My bio

I am a native of West Mifflin, Pa., twenty minutes by parkway to downtown Pittsburgh. I spoil my grandchildren, of course. I am retired now. My former work and one of my favorites was teaching ballroom dancing. I have a bent sense of humor and sway toward writing comedy. My stories appear in various publications, and I take pen to many genres from historical fiction to horror—depending on my mood.

I am the founder of the Waterfront Writers Workshop.  

My hobbies include trying to find ways to get out of cooking, cleaning, and all those silly household chores. My excuse?

 Shush, author at work.

Hop over to my blog and see what else strikes your fancy. < http://lorriejuly.blogspot.com/>

Sounds like a blast! Thanks so much for stopping by! Come back again real soon!

Until next time, take care!

♥ Julie

Guest Blogger Lorrie Struiff

Please welcome back my friend and fellow author, Lorrie Struiff. Well, not exactly Lorrie. It seems she's sent someone to speak for her today. So let's welcome this cute little guy and see what he has to say!

Thanks for having me on your blog today, Julie.

Beggar wants to tell the folks a little about his role in “A Heap of Trouble,” a new release from MuseItUp Publishing. You’re on, Beggar.

Howdy Partners,

Funny name, right? Well, it so happens my new pal, Sheriff Cole, gave it to me. I had no choice. You see, I’m a ringtail monkey and can’t do my own talkin’.  Hee, hee, but I sure can here, thanks to Julie. I just want to curl up on your lap so you can hug me, Julie. You’re so nice.

Anyhow, I’m pretty smart, if I do say so myself.  My owner trained me for years. I didn’t like workin’ fer him, though, and escaped from his medicine wagon. What a long trip. I was tired, hungry, and I found this yummy lunch just a waitin’ fer me in an office. How’d I know it was the sheriff’s office? I can’t read.

Oooh, Cole was mad when I ate his lunch. He almost shot me, but his nice lady friend, Mattie, saved my hide. After that, I took a real likin’ to Cole. I decided I’d live with him. I don’t think he was too happy ‘bout the idea at first, but we got along—once he got used to my thievin’ ways!

And, between that dang cattle rustling and him trying to woo Mattie…well, let’s just say I helped him a whole bunch. Cole couldn’t have gotten along without me.

I learned to ride in his saddlebag while tracking steers, but I don’t like horses much. They smell awful.

With all the shootin’ goin’ on with them rustlers, Cole knew I had his back. I’d sure ride the river with Cole anytime. He’s a good man.

Come along and read ‘bout us in “A Heap of Trouble.”

And guess what? It’s being released today. Yep, today! Now you all run right out and read about me. I’ll give you a big hug.

Available on MuseItUp at http://museituppublishing.com/bookstore2/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=367&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1&Itemid=1

And on Amazon

Blurb:

Sheriff Cole Walker has no choice, Beggar, a run-away ringtail monkey, has decided to move in with him. Now, Cole doesn’t like any critters much, but he doesn’t dare shoot the ringtail who sneaks out at night to steal the townsfolk’s valuables and hide them under the bed. Why doesn’t he just shoo the animal away?

 Because Mattie Wells, a pretty woman, is new in town and she sure jingles Cole’s spurs. She thinks Beggar is adorable and takes a shine to men who love pets. What’s a poor sheriff to do but grin and bear it?

 Cole has to keep the peace in town, track and chase down cattle rustlers, as well as return valuables from the prowling night thief, Beggar. With his deputies Wade and Sully, and his unwanted sidekick, Cole must find a way to win Mattie’s heart, find the rustlers, and bring peace once again to Cold Creek, Kansas. Cole has a heap of trouble on his plate!

Excerpt:

Mattie hurried to look under the desk. “Oh, my, it’s a little monkey.” She crawled on all fours to reach for the varmint, offering Cole a tantalizing view of her frilly petticoat and pretty ankles. “Come here, you poor baby.”

 “Miss Mattie, stop.” Cole rushed over, a palm on his pistol. “He might bite you.”

 Mattie got to her feet, the monkey curled in her arms. “Oh, don’t be silly. He’s what they call a ringtail and he’s half-starved to boot. I had a school friend once whose dad was an Organ Grinder. He had bought one like this shipped in from South America.” Her eyebrows lifted, her eyes on his hand hovering over his pistol. “You weren’t really planning on shooting this little fella, were you?”

   “Me?” He let out a chuckle and quickly hooked his thumb over his gun belt. “I’d never think of doing something like that.” He made a show of glancing around the room. “I was just sharin’ my lunch, but he sure made a darn mess of the place.”

   She petted the monkey, cooing softly while it lay snuggled in her arms. She bit her lip her eyes twinkling. “Oh, I see. And now you’re sweeping up the scraps. How sweet.”

    Cole shuddered at how she could handle the critter so easily. He tried to smile. “Yes, ma’am. Sure was. Cleaning the office and feeding him, that is.”  

    Her eyes narrowed as she inspected the creature closely. “This fella’s too thin, must not have eaten for a while.” She fingered the metal band around its neck. “We need something to wedge the clip lock off his collar.” A frown pulled at her mouth while her eyes scanned the office. “Oh, hand me that ring of keys hanging on the peg. You hold the monkey and I’ll work the ring under the clip.”

    “Uh, you keep a hold of him. I’ll pry the clip loose. I mean since he’s so comfortable with you and all.” He snatched up the key ring and edged closer. His hands trembled. “Why we doin’ this for anyhow? Must be someone’s pet with this fancy collar.”

    “Probably, but this collar has sharp edges. It scratches his neck.” She perched on the edge of the desk, holding the monkey firmly, exposing the lock.

 Cole moved his hands slowly. “Ah, hold on to his head nice and tight now. We don’t want him wiggling.”

   She giggled. “Don’t worry.”

   Sweat beaded on his forehead, the heat rushing to his face nearly searing his eyebrows. He reached for the collar, his heart racing. The ring slid under the clip and he forced it up. It snapped open with a ping.

   “Now pull the collar apart.”

   He did. The collar pushed open wide enough for him to twist it off.   

   “Yeow!” Pain shot from his hand to his elbow. He dropped the collar as if he had grabbed the hot end of a branding iron. The metal band clunked and spun across the floor. He stared at the bloody strip streaking his palm.

   “I told you it was sharp.” Mattie set the ringtail on the desk and led Cole to the basin of water sitting on the ledge in the corner. She soaped a cloth and bathed his palm while he glared at the monkey. Her soft, warm hands gave him a little tingle in his belly, until she poured the whiskey over the cut. 

 “Yeow!” Cole blew on his hand. He didn’t know which was worse, the cut or the unexpected whiskey wash.

The ringtail rubbed and stretched its neck, then clapped. Cole gave him a scathing look. 

(Bio)

Lorrie Unites-Struiff lives in West Mifflin, PA, very near Pittsburgh. Her main goal is to write a good story to entertain readers. She writes across the board with genres and if you punch in her name on Amazon, you’ll see the many shorts and books she has written. Or you can find more information on her website at http://struiff.wordpress.com/

        

 Thanks for stopping by Beggar, and thanks to Lorrie for allowing him to be here! I'm here to tell you A Heap of Trouble's a great read, one you shouldn't miss!

Until next time, take care!

♥ Julie

Guest Blogging today at Jana Down's place, and other stuff

Happy President's Day, to those of you in the US! Being unemployed, holidays don't have quite the same feel. In fact, this one's keeping me from going to the post office as well as the unemployment office! Oh well, tomorrow's another day.

Today I'm visiting at Jana Down's blog, talking about historical crushes. Why don't y'all join me there?

Then mosey on over to Ginger Simpson's blog, 'cause my friend Lorrie Struiff is talking about a monkey named Beggar, who's quite the handful, as well as her upcoming release, A Heap of Trouble. I'm here to tell you it's one heck of a good book. I know, because I had the honor and privilege of editing it. So stop on by and say howdy to Beggar and Lorrie.

What are my President's Day plans?

Started the day by making Snickerdoodle Muffins as a surprise for Sarah. I'm working on a flash fiction for the Bigger Briefs anthology. Have I mentioned that before? It's like an offshoot of the Wednesday Briefs, except the stories run from 2 to 3k, and they're going to be assembled and published by a publisher in the UK. How awesome is that? I'll keep you updated on it as it progresses. Actually, there will be anthologies - one m/m and one m/f. I've already written a story for the m/f, now working on the other. The theme for the first anthology is voyeurism.

I'm also considering an open sub for Dreamspinner, we'll see how that works out. And editing a book for Muse. So quite the full day ahead.

Tomorrow I'll probably discuss stuff like The Walking Dead, Californication, and the return of The Sandwich King. Going to do some writing now!  Have a great day!

Until next time, take care!

♥ Julie