Tease Me Thursday #4: Yes He's My Ex

This week, I have another except from my brand new Dreamspinner release, Yes He's My Ex. I hope you enjoy it! And don't forget to check out the other authors, whose links are at the end of my post!

Yes He's My Ex

Experience is a wonderful teacher. It’s taught me that if I want to keep my sanity, I need to keep my front door locked at all times. Otherwise, Sonny thinks he has an open invitation to walk through that door whenever he’s in the neighborhood and so inclined. The hell he will is my attitude. What would happen if I were in the middle of a date or something? Think how embarrassing that would be. Hey, it could happen. It does happen, on rare occasions. I’m not a monk or anything. I have needs too.

He did that once. Walked in on me in the middle of a date. I think the guy’s name was Kevin. Or Brad. I forget. That’s not the point, anyway. There we were, eating dinner. Okay, it was a carryout pizza, but it counts, it’s food. So what if I didn’t do the sweating over the stove thing? I am capable of doing it when I choose.

So we’re set up on the couch, my ultra-comfortable blue couch, the one Sonny and I picked up off the street on bulk trash day. All it really needed was a little TLC—a little upholstering by my mom, and it was good as new. We’re watching some Arnold Schwarzenegger movie—Eraser, I think—chewing on cheesy Italian love food, and having a civilized conversation in between watching people get erased–something Sonny is totally incapable of, by the way. The civilized conversation, I mean, not the erasing. Not that he’s capable of that either. Never mind. At any rate, in waltzes Sonny himself, like he owns the place, carrying a twelve-pack of cold beer and wearing a shit-eating grin. He plops his ass down on my sofa—never mind that the cushions still hold a Sonny-shaped imprint of that delectable derriere—and he helps himself to pizza and asks how we’re doing as he proceeds to dole out the beer.

Suddenly, the movie’s forgotten, and the floodgates have been opened in entirely the wrong direction. I can’t seem to get a word in edgewise—I’ve become the Invisible Man. By the end of the evening, my date leaves—with Sonny. ’Nuff said. See why he drives me crazy? Neither one of us saw or heard from Kevin/Brad again. Small loss.

I hear the rattle of the knob first, then the thump of Sonny clonking his head against the door. He must have expected it to open just because he wanted it to. Serves him right, idiota. I give him a minute to figure it out before I take pity on him and open the door. He’s rubbing his temple, wearing a why-did-that-just-happen look.

“Hey Tim-tim,” he greets me, his momentary frown melting into a sweet smile. Damn that man, anyway.

“Don’t call me that.” My automatic response. He has no beer in his hands today. Or anything else that I can see. “Can you find your way in, or do I need to draw you a map?” I snark, walking away and taking a seat on what is still my sofa. I deliberately stretch my legs out so that I take up the entire space, and my thick white-socked feet are sitting on what was once Sonny’s favorite pillow—the one with the two cherubs on it. Mine too. He can take a chair.

Sometimes Sonny Scrignoli forgets he’s Tim Mansfield’s ex. He waltzes in and out of Tim’s apartment like he still lives there, driving Tim crazy. Is it really so hard to remember they’ve broken up? Then again, maybe Tim should quit having sex with him. 

When Sonny disappears for two weeks, Tim can’t help but be concerned. A strange phone call and a mysterious cry for help leads Tim on a desperate search for his ex.

Sonny’s in big trouble, and it’s Tim to the rescue! He’s the only one who can save his ex from a fate worse than death. Bumbling gangsters, a thick-headed former boyfriend, and secretive FBI agents lead Tim and Sonny on a merry chase full of laughs and quirks.

Now available at Dreamspinner Press!

Tease Me Thursday #2: Yes He's My Ex

Welcome to week 2 of Tease Me Thursday. Today, I'm going to tease you with a little bit from my upcoming Dreamspinner release, Yes He's My Ex. It comes out April 2nd, and it's available for pre-order now.

Sonny is Tim's ex, but you wouldn't necessarily know it. He shows up whenever he wants, walks into Tim's apartment like he owns the place. And he knows how to push Tim's buttons, even if he doesn't realize he's doing it.

Don’t ask me why I did it. Not why I pushed Sonny off the couch—that part I understand. That’s because he’s an insensitive lout who can be totally clueless at times. No, I mean why did I, after heaving him off me as hard as I could, do a complete turnaround and not only help him up but allow him to place his head in my lap, in an utter reversal of our previous position, despite all the alarm bells going off in my own head?

Maybe it was the whimpering. I hate to hear a grown man cry, you know? All right, maybe it was more than that. Maybe it was because deep, deep down inside, I really can’t find it in myself to hurt him, no matter how many times he’s hurt me. I’m just too soft for my own good, and I know it.

“Tim-tim, why are you mad at me?” He’s turning those doe eyes on me, those sweetly sad puppy eyes that make my insides turn into meaningless goo. Like caramel, but less tasty.

“Sonny, when will you get it into your thick head I’m not in love with you anymore? We aren’t together, and it’s time you moved on? Read my lips, Sonny. I… don’t… love… you…. Capisce?”

For a moment, nothing is said between us, as if he’s actually mulling over my words.

“I’ve told you this before,” I add. My voice sounds weak, even to me.

“Tim,” he says at last, his momentary deliberations at an end. “It’s funny how your eyes always look away when you say that.”

Don't forget to be teased by the other incredible authors in our blog hop!