Saturday is Horror Day #121 - Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

 Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

A retired military commander (Henry Rollins) is chosen to host a simulated survival reality show that is meant to mimic a post-apocalyptic world. The contestants converge in a remote section of West Virginia wilderness. Unfortunately for them, they have landed themselves in the midst of a deformed, inbred cannibal family who want to eat them for dinner. Now survival is actually an imperative.

That is the plot in a nutshell. Put together a bunch of stereotypes, including a jock, a lesbian, a beauty queen, a sex hungry immature punk... well, you get the idea. Bad, very bad writing, and little to no actual plot make this one of the worst films ever. Should have gone straight to the garbage and just completely remade with a totally different production team.

Bear McCreary (of Outlander fame, among other works), wrote the music, so I won't diss that. But make no mistake, this is a horrible movie. The inbred cannibal movie is so over the top deformed and half-witted that it's just ridiculous. They grunt rather than speak. Except for the dinner scene where they say grace and one of them actually says amen. Also be warned that there is a great deal of gore in this film, and in one scene a woman is sliced in two (and boy was that believable - not!)

While I liked the first movie in the series, this one definitely took a wrong turn (yes, pun intended). If you plan to watch the series, as I am doing, skip this one. You won't be missing anything. The only reason I'm giving it the rating I'm giving it is because of Henry Rollins, who did his part. I give this film .5 Stars. Yes, as in less than one. Be warned.

Saturday is Horror Day #102 - Terrifier

 Terrifier

It's Halloween night, and Tara (Jenna Kanell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) are out having a good time. But they have a bit too much to drink, so they decide to get a bite to eat to eat at a small diner. There they see the same creepy clown (David Howard Thornton) that was annoying them earlier. Did he follow them? Dawn doesn't let him get to her and cheekily asks for a selfie while sitting on his lap.

After he leaves, they return to the car only to find one of the tires has been slashed. Distraught, Tara calls 

her sister Victoria (Samantha Scaffidi) for a ride. Although she's studying for midterms, she agrees to come get them when her roommate returns unexpectedly with a male guest, and it's obvious they are going to be noisy. While they wait, Tara has to use the bathroom, but where? Dawn smiles a man stepping out of a building and asks him on Tara's behalf to let her in. Mike (Matt McAllister) is an exterminator and he's reluctant, but finally agrees to let her in while Dawn waits in the car.

The building is disgusting and filthy, and it has rats, but beggars can't be choosers. But then Art the Clown makes his appearance and everything goes downhill from there...

This film was... I guess torture porn would be a good description. The little plot there is only serves to bring everybody together in this location in order to be killed. Why? I have no idea what this guy's problem is. He never speaks, remaining mute throughout the entire film. Why? No clue. Maybe we'll find out in the sequel. Is there gore? In spades. One scene after another. This movie is not for the squeamish, not at all. There is one scene where a girl is hung upside down, naked, and split open, down the middle, starting between her legs.

I had many questions, but few answers. One of the biggest was why this scummy building would even need or call for an exterminator. It looked to be abandoned. So why was he there? Or is that just bad writing? The guy playing the clown did a great job. Definitely gave up very creepy vibes. Did I enjoy this movie? Not really. Am I going to see the sequel? Of course I am. So, I'll so that if you know what you're in for going into this, you'll be fine. I wouldn't blindside anyone with this though. I'll give this film 4 Stars for doing what it meant to do pretty well. 

Saturday is Horror Day #87 - The Banana Splits Movie

 The Banana Splits Movie

Harley (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) loves the Banana Splits more than anything. So when his mother presents him with tickets to attend a live taping of the show as a birthday present, he is over the moon happy. He requests a classmate go with him. Zoe (Maria Nash) wouldn't call herself a friend of Harley's, thinks he is weird, but her mother says she has to go, so she has no choice. Harley's mother goes also, as well as Harley's father Mitch (Steve Lund) and his half-brother Austin (Romeo Carere). Also in the audience are a couple of would-be influencers, and a stage father who is intent on getting his daughter into show business via the Banana Splits. At the show, it's announced that people with special tickets will be allowed private time with the Splits after the taping. Harley's family don't have the right tickets. But after Austin starts flirting with one of the members of the staff, Paige (Naledi Majola), she adds them to the list.

But all is not as it appears to be. For one thing, the new network exec, Andy (Daniel Fox) has decided to cancel the show, making this the last episode. But that only triggers a reprisal on the part of his cast, who are all animatronics, other than sidekick Stevie (Richard White), who spends most of his time being drunk. The Banana Splits have their own agenda, and it isn't gonna be pretty.

I was skeptical when I saw the trailer for this film, wondering how a preview for a kids movie got onto a horror movie disk. But this is not kid's movie, make no mistake about that. It's a virtual gore fest. However, saying that, unless you just want to watch some assholes get what's coming to them (and some innocents who don't deserve it), there is little to commend this film. I am really surprised that Hanna Barbara allowed them to make this film, but they probably figured it was their last chance to make money off the franchise. Watch it for the blood and gore, watch it for the revenge, but don't go looking for a good movie. I'll give it 1.5 Stars.