Dexter’s
Final Cut
Author:
Jeff
Lindsay
Publisher:
Doubleday
American
release date: September
17, 2013
Format/Genre/Length:
Novel/Horror/368pages
Overall
Personal Rating:
★★
A pilot for a much-anticipated TV series
is being shot in Miami, and Dexter is ordered to allow himself to be shadowed
by the actor that plays the show’s blood spatter analyst, none other than
Robert Chase himself. Too bad for Chase, the very sight of blood makes him violently
ill. Deborah is ordered to perform the same task for the show’s leading lady,
the very beautiful Jackie Forrest. With movie-like timing, they manage to
arrival fast on the heels of a new serial killer, who’s seriously butchered and
mutilated a young woman and thrown her into a Dumpster. (Cue the obligatory
vomit scene from Mr. Chase).
Meanwhile, at home, Dexter and Rita are
in the process of moving into a new home, a larger home. One with a pool. And
the pool needs a new cage, which can’t be cheap. So when Fate intervenes and
offers Dexter the opportunity to become the paid protector of Jackie Forrest, who
is being threatened by a stalker, he leaps at the chance. Of course, it has
nothing to do with the fact that she’s beautiful. And he can’t stop thinking
about her. Or in pissing off her assistant.
Dexter finds living the good life very
pleasant indeed, and becomes to waft away on daydreams of making this a
permanent lifestyle. He finds Robert annoying as hell, and thinks Chase has a
crush on Dexter. (Much like Vince Masuoka has on Robert). Hell, everybody loves
Robert, even Astor. (but not Dexter). When another co-star joins them, a
popular comedian named Renny, Dexter makes a startling discovery.
Let me say that I love these books whole
heartedly, and have ever since I first discovered them.
And this one... not at all. Where to
begin?
If I hadn’t read the books that preceded
this one, I could have accepted this Dexter and not known any better. But I
have read them and so I can’t. Dexter pining after a blonde goddess, yearning
to go to Hollywood and step into the glamour of the footlights? What, is this
book supposed to be set in an alternate universe and Jeff Lindsay forgot to
mention the fact? Dexter forsaking the shadows of his life for glitz and glamour?
What the hell?
As that part of the plot began to
unravel, I wanted to throw the book, to keep it from my disbelieving eyes. But
no, I kept reading, certain that it was all a farce, that the real Dexter would
soon stand up and be counted. But it didn’t happen. Not only did my Dexter not
appear, but stupid!Dexter took his place. Drooling, brain-damaged Dexter, who
couldn’t figure out the identity of the killer that I spotted almost from the
beginning of the book. Who made stupid basic mistakes that Dexter would not
have made, such as letting a pre-teen girl walk off with a virtual stranger.
Maybe he doesn’t love Rita in the normal sense, but he knows her value, and he
does care for Astor and Cody. And Lily. Yet he’s ready to walk away from them
all? And perhaps even the Dark Passenger?
I don’t know what happened here. I don’t
even know if this is the last book of the series or not, to coincide with the
end of the TV series (which I heard was bad, but I’m too far behind to worry
about that now). The ending is not only stupid, it’s indecisive, and almost
screams another book is coming to explain what just happened. Only I think I’d
rather that didn’t happen. Just let the series go out with a whimper than risk
any more of this atrocious storytelling. If I could un-read this one, I would.
I’d tell Jeff Lindsay to please, rewrite this and give us something we can
love, not this horrible tripe.
I know Dexter fans will be compelled to
read this, so my telling you not to will probably fall on deaf ears. But
honestly, it’s just not good, and I don’t say that lightly. Go back and re-read
the others. You’ll be better off.
If this was Dexter’s final cut, I just
hope Lindsay doesn’t bring out the director’s cut next.
