Bernard: Diary of a 46 Year Old Bellhop Review

Bernard: Diary of a 46 Year Old Bellhop  

Author:  S.L. Danielson

Distributor: Amazon Digital Services

Format/Genre/Length: Kindle/Romance/157 pages

Publisher/Industry Age Rating: 18+

Overall Personal Rating: A-

Bernard Covington is at the end of his rope in more ways than one.  At the age of 46, he is unlovely, overweight, stuck in a dead end job as a bellhop at a hotel – and on top of all of that he’s a virgin who hasn’t got the balls to admit that he’s gay!  What’s life got to offer him?  Not a whole lot, so he’s opting out!  Suicide attempt #4 – coming up!

Synopsis:

Bernard utilizes both a large butcher knife and a bottle of pills this time, to “get ‘er done”, but instead he finds himself inside the ER of the local hospital, and the doctor who is on call on that particular night is gorgeous, while his nurse is incredibly kind to Bernard.  Too bad he thinks he’s too much of a loser to deserve any sort of attention from anyone.  And he feels it’s only a matter of time until he tries it again.

Doctor Jack and Nurse Nancy are determined to help Bernard, whether he wants it or not.  They call in his mother, who is naturally concerned about him.  They set him up with a therapist, Dr. Rasmus, whom Bernard finds he gets along with, surprisingly, and he discovers that he can talk to him about different things. When the time comes for his release, not only does Doctor Jack drive Bernard home, but he offers to spend some time with him, having taken the afternoon off in order to do so!  Bernard is beyond speechless, he can’t believe that this beautiful man actually wants to be his friend.  The more time he spends with Jack, the more he knows that he feels things for the doctor that he feels compelled to conceal, lest he ruin their growing friendship.  Looking like he does, and being some ten years older than Jack, how can he possibly think that Jack would be interested in a loser like him, even if Jack were gay?

With the support of his doctor/friend, Bernard tries to put his life back together and make some much needed changes in himself.  He and Jack only grow closer as time goes on.  Bernard is becoming stronger, in some ways, but in others, he’s still the insecure overweight guy he always was, who is prone to tears and depression.  When financial woes threaten to overwhelm him, Jack steps in and suggests that Bernard move in with him!  Bernard decides to confess everything, and he finds that Jack has a story of his own to tell.  When the scales tip in the other direction, and their relationship becomes unbalanced, can they put it back on an even keel?

Commentary:

Bernard is not your typical protagonist that you find in a m/m romance novel – he is 46 (old by the standards of some), grossly overweight, and stuck in a job with little intrinsic self-worth.  I didn’t know what to expect from him, or his story.  But I found myself being quickly drawn into his plight, and caring for him as a person, a real person, because face it, there are more Bernards in the world than pretty boys, and they have stories too.

Ms. Danielson’s prose is like Bernard – it’s plain and simple and to the point, and it conveys his story more eloquently than fancier words could ever do.  She explores his feelings, his lack of self-esteem, his fears, his desire to be more than he is – and she does it well without being flowery.  It isn’t until Bernard accepts himself for who he is and learns to love himself that he can affect any sort of changes in his life.  I liked Doctor Jack who, even though he was a gorgeous guy, saw beyond the surface and into the inner Bernard.  The good doctor has his own personal demons, and he is far from perfect.  Bernard’s mother, Molly, is quite the character – she loves and supports her son and wants him to be happy, unaware that her requests for grandchildren drive him crazy.  His twin sister Brenda is something of an enigma.  He thinks that she despises him for being gay.

Together this is a story about a real person, one that you might find in everyday life – a person with real problems, looking for love, wanting to love and be loved in return.  Isn’t that what we all want?  I applaud Ms. Danielson for not sugarcoating it, and for creating such a wonderful hero in Bernard Covington, bellhop.  I look forward to reading more of her work.

Overall Grade:         A-

 If you like SL Danielson’s Bernard, then try Lust in London, and Ranch Hands.

Our Gay Heroes - they come in all sorts of shapes and we love them all

Although many current m/m romance novels were inspired by both by fanfiction and yaoi manga, many of the novelists who write them have taken the often basic idea of the uke and seme and run with it, with the result that there are a large variety of gay heroes for our delectation and edification and great enjoyment, although the stereotypes still exist, of course.

Many young women adore the idea of the uke and seme.  If you are unfamiliar with these terms, simply put the uke bottoms and the seme tops.  In most mangas, at least the ones I've seen and I've seen quite a few, these truisms are more or less written in stone - while the characters of the uke/seme change, their positions seldom do.  Once a uke, always a uke, and also with the seme.  Also in many of these stylized pairings, the uke is a rather waif faced youthful-looking almost feminine boy, even though he and the seme may be the same age, or not very much difference between them.  Almost like taking a girl and removing her breasts, and calling her a boy.  Some are worse than others.  Even though the mangakas take great pains to let you know everyone involved is of legal age (except when they're not, but I'm not going to get into shota, at least not here and now), they look like children, and sometimes what they do has the appearance, if not the reality, of pedophilia.  A problem which, of course, does not appear in m/m romance novels, as you aren't bombarded with images of the legal-age feminine looking child-toy.

There are m/m romance novels that do feed the stereotype, and if that's what you like, that's fine, but if you like your men more manly, there is no dearth of that either.  And they come in all shapes, sizes, and supernatural abilities.  There is a growing trend toward gay men who are vampires, werewolves, and shifters, and there must be a huge audience for it.  Vampires were first, I think followed by werewolves, and then shifters who could change themselves into anything from a cat to a tiger, and a lot of stuff in between.  I remember reading an excerpt from a novel involving tree-shifters.  I kid you not!  And from what I read recently, the shifter trend is changing too, and dragons are becoming the new shifters.  That should be interesting to watch.

If you like your gay men with powers, there are a lot of series out there.  One that comes to mind is Mimi Riser's Sylver and Steele.  From the little I've read of them, they are most excellent reads, filled with humor and heat.  I have a friend who is writing a gargoyle series - don't count them out, cause I'm telling you, they can be pretty hot.  Whodathunkit?  Vampires have been erotic ever since Bram Stoker took pen in hand and gave us Dracula, but today's writers have given the genre a decided homoerotic slant.  And if  you like your men with a little fur, Andrew Grey has a satyr series you might like to check out.

On the other hand, if you like your men a little more down to earth, there are a lot of those out there to choose from, and they run the gamut from unbelievably hunky to incredibly twinky and everything in between. One series that comes to mind is Marie Sexton's Coda series - her men are men, not stereotypes.  Even her fabulously gay Cole Fenton, who is way out there and truly shines in Strawberries for Dessert, has depth to his character which removes him from the realm of cookie-cutter gay men.  Matt, whom we meet in her first book, Promises, isn't gay, he just happens to fall in love with someone, Jared, who just happens to be a guy, a gay for you situation which is being seen more and more.  Her men are good-looking gay men, without a doubt, but they are also guys we could really meet and know.

A recent novel I read which certainly tore apart the mythos of the typical gay male, was Bernard: Diary of a 46 Year Old Bellhop, by S.L.Danielson.  The hero here is 46, very overweight, and very much unhappy with his life and himself, not your usual choice for a hero of a romance novel.  But Bernard is undoubtedly the hero,  as we watch him grow and develop through the course of the novel, taking his shot at finding true love with a handsome doctor.

If you like your men living in the past, there are writers who are glad to provide them.  Some ignore the mores of the times their men live in, and perhaps present slightly unrealistic views of their lives, especially in relation to the society they live in.  On the other hand, in Counterpoint, by Ruth Sims, there is no doubt that her young hero Dylan is aware that such behavior is frowned upon by not only society but his family, and that does not prevent his falling in love with Laurence, in a very well-written moving novel of a time when two men were far from free to be together.  Other historical authors that come to mind include Erases, Christie Gordon and Alex Beecroft.

Our gay men definitely come in all shapes and sizes and personalities - with or without powers, contemporary or historical.  They all have one thing in common - they are gay and we love them.  Do you have a favorite type of gay man?  If so, tell me what it is, and what book you think best typifies him?

Welcome Stephanie Danielson!

In honor of my new blog, I'm reposting my first guest blogger!  Welcome if you will SL Danielson, author of Bernard: Diary of a 46 Year Old Bellhop, Lust in London, Ranch Hands, Life By the Numbers, and more.  Make her feel at home,and feel free to leave comments!  Show her the love!
*************************************************************
Greetings! Author S. L. (Stephanie) Danielson here! Gearing up for what promises to be a great 2011!

First, I'd like to thank Julie for hosting me. She's terrific and I love working with and talking to her :)

OK, down to business. First, the news, I just submitted a sequel to 2010's smash hit "Ranch Hands" to my publisher. It's only been a few days, but keep your fingers
crossed! It's called "Ranch Hands 2; Jerry's Season."

Also, my new release is slated for release on March 26th, "Life After Math" which is also a sequel to 2009's "Love by the Numbers". If follows Scott
and Jared to college and the extreme pressures and drama that ensue from there.

That's it for news, now to current events. "Bernard; Diary of a 46-yr old Bellhop", my "newest" book has been out since Thanksgiving. I've gotten a lot of great reviews
on it and have been praised for creating the 'not so perfect' lead character.

I've attached an excerpt of Bernard for everyone. Available at Amazon, Smashwords, Lulu (paperback), and All Romance Ebooks.

“I want to give you something. I’ll be right back.” He stood up and exited the room for a moment. He returned with a book in his hand. Jack stood up to greet him.

“What is it?”

Bernard flipped the book over. It was his journal. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. We’ve gotten a lot closer lately and I think it’s time. If you want to know me, I mean really know me, read this. I’ve had this depression a long time. I’d love for someone to finally try to understand me and not just the illness.”

Jack smiled at his friend and ran his fingers over the fabric on the cover. He remembered the first time he saw it in the hospital. He looked down into Bernard’s brilliant blue eyes and cupped his chin.

“I promise you, I will read this and not judge anything. I want to get to know the real you.”

Bernard smiled lightly. “Thanks, Jack. I hope you’ll still want to once you see what’s in those tattered pages.”

Jack leaned forward and kissed the man’s cheek again and pulled him in for a long embrace. “Don’t worry, I will.”

Bernard held on tight to his friend and tried to breathe in as much of his scent as possible. Finally, they let go.

“Thank you for dinner. You’re a great cook!”

“Thanks! I guess my Mom did teach me some stuff after all. They’re all diner recipes.”

Jack smiled and brushed Bernard’s hand. “I’ll see you later. Give me a couple of days to read this, alright?”

“Absolutely. I didn’t write very much, but take your time.”

“Will do. Good night, Bernard.”

“Night, Jack.”

Jack left the apartment and walked down the steps. Bernard locked the door behind him and leaned against the door. His heart jumped a few beats every time he thought of Jack even being near him! He felt sweat on his brow and wiped it away with his sleeve. “Hope he knows what he’s getting. Well, better go clean up.”

Jack returned two days later to Bernard’s apartment. He held something behind his back which the older man attempted to catch a glimpse of.

“What do you have there?” He asked while smiling.

Jack shook his head. “Nope, no peeking. Close your eyes first.”

Bernard laughed and shut his eyes. “Okay.”

Jack held up a white rose to his friend’s nose.

“Inhale.”

Bernard sniffed the air and could smell the rose. “Oh wow that smells good! What is that?” He opened his eyes and saw the flower and sniffed it again. “It’s beautiful!”

Jack smiled at him and spoke softly. “Bernard after reading your journal and learning about the real you, I could draw only one conclusion.”

“What’s that?” Bernard asked breathlessly.

“That I’d like to start my own healing process and I’d like to know if you’d be willing to go out with me?”

Bernard’s mouth gaped open and he looked at Jack in great surprise. “Are you sure?”

Jack rolled his eyes and let out a grunt. “Yes, I’m very sure. Here’s your journal back. I want us to learn about each other even more. It doesn’t even have to be sexual at first. We can just be dating for a while. What do you say?”