Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Virtual Book Tour: Unseasonal War

Please welcome author David Englund, who is here to talk about his latest release, Unseasonal War. David will be awarding a digital copy of Unseasonal War to a random commenter at every stop of the tour. The more you comment, the better your chances of winning. To find the other stops on the tour, go here.


Unseasonal War
by David Englund

~~~~~~~~~~~~~



BLURB:

Clark Jackson’s travels, for the first time, put him in touch with an intriguing species remarkably human-like. He becomes instantly fascinated with the Fronents and envious of their advanced technology. Striving to befriend them and learn more, his uncontrolled enthusiasm forsakes the use of appropriate caution and suspicion. Could their cold reception be a byproduct of their war with a vile species in this corner of the universe, or something else?

The magnificent splendor of an unexplored galaxy, new species to encounter and the adrenalin rush of space battle feed Clark’s awestruck hunger for exploration and adventure. Unfortunately, the more he learns the more he questions; including the wisdom of his entangled involvement in their war.

Meanwhile, back home in Des Moines, Iowa, Clark attempts to maintain an inconspicuous lifestyle to avoid attracting the attention of a certain relentless federal agency. His girlfriend’s own secret, however, could unravel it all.

**Even though the book is the second book in the series, it IS standalone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCERPT:


The entire bridge quaked with greater and greater intensity.  Standing upright became increasingly difficult with each passing moment, even with the help of safety bars.  A ship of this size was not meant to traverse a planet’s atmosphere.

“There she is!”  A cadet pointed at a screen.

The enemy ship itself still wasn’t visible.  However, flames burst up out of nowhere, surrounding a small blank area on the screen.  Something was definitely breaking the atmosphere of the planet.

“Now!  Pull out.  Full speed ahead.”

The shaking quickly diminished.  Two seconds later, the bridge was perfectly level and moving forward smoothly again.

“Now!  Target those flames.  Fire aft lasers.  All engines stop.”

Clark concentrated on the view screens.  Lasers connected twice as two explosions erupted amidst the flames.  Crew members cheered.  Captain Trind quickly put a stop to the celebration as he continued to stare at the screens and rattle off commands.  The enemy vessel followed suit and broke out of the atmosphere back into orbit.  It came out firing.  Lasers once again impacted the ship in several locations.

“Fire!  Keep firing!  Target the smoke!  We can see exactly where she is now.  Hit her!”

The camera view displayed her approach.  The smoking ship passed directly overhead, both ships trading fire, both taking hits.  Clark could feel the deck tremble every time they were assaulted.

“All ahead one-half.  Follow that smoke trail.  Fire forward lasers.”

The entire ship jumped three feet as an explosion emanated from below decks, causing those standing to lose their footing.  A few seconds passed.  Several crew members shook their heads and struggled to stand.  It took a few more seconds to regain composure.  Clark felt the ship slow down.

“Sir . . . the engine room . . . the engine room is gone.  Completely.”




~~~~~~~~~~~~~



AUTHOR Bio and Links:

David Englund is a storyteller (science fiction author) and teaches economics at North Dakota State University.  His first two titles, Upsetting the Tides and UNSEASONAL WAR are available on Amazon.  Camouflaged Encounters is due out in late 2014 and the fourth and fifth books are in progress.

 http://amazon.com/dp/B00F4MHDWM

http://davidjenglund.blogspot.com

https://www.facebook.com/david.englund.104





Friday, May 9, 2014

Tease Me Thursday #9: When Will I See You Again

Yes, I know it's Friday, but last night... well, no sense in going there lol  But here I am with Tease Me Thursday (slightly late). Today's excerpt comes from When Will I See You Again. Alexx and Raoul have gone to lunch at the Moonbeam Cafe, and they're still in that getting to know you phase. Enjoy! Then visit the other members of the hop!


“Have you had enough?” he asked him softly. Did he mean food, or what…?
Alexx nodded, not trusting his voice.
“Shall we continue where we were before?”
Before Alexx could ask if he meant the interview or what, Raoul’s lips had descended on his, and he could think of nothing else, caught up in the moment, and the kiss, and the man…
Until suddenly a strange voice broke in on that moment. “So here you are, Raoul.”
Alexx heard Raoul’s groan vibrate through his lips; reluctantly he drew back, just far enough to respond.

“Yes, I am here, Father.”


now available at Amber Quill Press!

Now for the link!




Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Wednesday Briefs: Dallas in Wonderland II: Chapter Sixteen

Happy Hump Day, one and all! Welcome to another edition of Wednesday Briefs! We are your purveyors of flash fiction, and we aim to please! Keep an eye on this space, and the other Briefers' blogs, for information about an upcoming special event!

Last week, Dallas and Campbell found themselves at a strange feast, and met a pair of unusual twins, but didn't really get anywhere in their quest. Will today find them any better off? Find out in this week's episode of Dallas in Wonderland II. Don't forget to check and see what the other Briefers are up to. We have TWO FLASH VIRGINS this week!

Dallas in Wonderland II: Chapter Sixteen


Leaving the cottage behind, Dallas and Campbell continued to make their way through the dark woods.  They strictly adhered to the path, which was just wide enough to allow them to walk abreast of one another. Since it was hard to see, Dallas circled Campbell’s waist with his arm, and Campbell followed suit, to ensure that neither strayed. The warmth of Campbell’s body was comforting to Dallas, and helped to keep his unease at being back here at bay.

Nothing looked familiar and yet everything looked familiar. Sometimes it seemed as if Wonderland rearranged itself to suit each visitor. But that didn’t really make sense, did it? Then again, did anything in this odd place truly make sense?

The proof of this came when the trees began to thin, and they could see the dappled sky through the interlaced branches. Dallas was grateful they hadn’t been accosted by any strange creatures. At least not yet.

They emerged into the sunlight only to find themselves at the edge of a large meadow. Red and orange 
flowers swayed in a balmy breeze. In the middle of the meadow was a pond. And at the edge of the pond was a still figure beneath a large conical hat that almost covered his head, hunched over what seemed to be a pole in his hand, the end of which hung over the water. On his shoulder, a small bird perched.

“I wonder what kind of fish Wonderland has?” Campbell speculated.

“I’m almost afraid to find out,” Dallas muttered.

“Think we should say hello? Ask for directions or something?”

Dallas considered just skirting the issue entirely, but common sense dictated they speak to the person. They needed to decide where they were going, how to get there, and how to get home. Tall order, he knew, but they had to start somewhere and this person was the only one in sight.

Hopefully, he was a peaceful fisherman, and not another of the many loons that seemed to inhabit this place.
“I guess we should.”

Perhaps it was something in his voice, or in his expression, but Campbell took Dallas’ hand in his, twined their fingers and brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. “Don’t worry, honey, y’all got me. I won’t let nothing happen to you.”

Dallas felt emboldened by his words, a sense of security stealing through him. “You’re the best, Campbell,” he said. “Okay, let’s do this then.”

They approached the man carefully, both not to startle him and also not to alarm him into maybe losing his fish. Assuming he had hooked one. The line seemed to jerk almost rhythmically, but the fellow made no effort to reel it in.

When they were just a few paces away, Dallas cleared his throat, to be polite. The man never stirred.

“Excuse me,” Dallas said softly, and when he still go not response, he raised his voice. “Pardon us. Sorry to disturb you—”

“Then don’t.”

Dallas was taken aback by this unexpected response.

“If you are sorry to do it, then don’t do it and you won’t be sorry. Seems silly to do something you don’t want to do.”

“I was just trying to be polite,” Dallas protested, even as Campbell added, “No need to be rude. We only want information.”

“You only want? You only want?” The mocking voice echoed. “Did I ask you what you wanted? Do you think I care? First you are sorry for doing something you chose to do. And now you expect me to give you information. Do I look like an information booth to you? Well, do I?”

The bird opened its mouth for the first time. It was a small bird with turquoise feathers that morphed into sapphire and then aquamarine, to Dallas’ amazement. Its large eyes resembled huge topazes. “Jubjub, jubjub,” it cawed.

The man removed his hat and raised his head to them, revealing his face for the first time. There was something familiar about him, but Dallas couldn’t place him immediately. He furrowed his brow, trying to think.

And then it hit him, like the proverbial ton of bricks.

He had indeed seen this man before, but he had fewer clothes on at the time. He’d been naked, to be precise, and in quite a different position. Namely, flat on his back, being thoroughly fucked by Dallas’ ex-boyfriend, in their dorm room.

Dallas jerked backward so quickly he lost his footing and began to fall. Luckily, Campbell caught him. He wound his arms about Dallas, holding him protectively against his chest.

“Do you need help?” The man openly smirked, addressing Campbell.

Campbell ignored the man. He gently stroked Dallas’ arm. “What’s wrong, Dallas?” Even his voice was soothing.

“Tsk, tsk,” the man reprimanded them both. “He’s a whiney baby and you’re an enabler. No wonder Quentin needed someone else. A real man.”

“I don’t give a shit. About either one of you.” Dallas worked to still his trembling limbs. He turned his face up to Campbell. “I caught this man with Quentin. He’s the reason we broke up. Well, just the final straw.”

Campbell eyed the other man with disdain. “Well, sugar, all I can say is Quentin has taste for shit if he preferred that to you.”

Dallas didn’t even really care anymore. He was past the pain at Quentin’s deception. Over Quentin. He had other heartaches in his life now. Namely Samuel.

That gave him pause for thought.

“I don’t believe I ever caught your name.  You do have one, right?”

The man gave him a hooded look, as if unsure of whether to answer or not. “My name is Penn,” he said at last.

“Penn, tell me something.” Dallas grew bolder, bolstered by Campbell’s support.

“Tell you what?” Penn sounded surly. The bird squawked, and he told it to shush. The line continued to jerk, but he ignored it, his attention focused on Dallas. “What do you want to know?”

“Do you know Dr. Samuel Levi?”

to be continued

Now see what the other Briefers are up to!

Johayan      <<<<<FLASH VIRGIN HERE>>>>>>
E.S.   <<<<<FLASH VIRGIN HERE>>>>>>


Enjoy!

Monday, May 5, 2014

Virtual Book Tour: Fag


This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Krissy will be awarding a $10 Amazon GC to one randomly drawn winner via the Rafflecopter at the end of this post. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour. Remember, the more stops you visit, the more chances you earn to win.

Aaron Garrett is many things in life: he is a son, a friend, a student, and caring boyfriend to his lovely girlfriend Leigh Ann. In these roles, he is kind, hardworking, smart, loving, dedicated, and considerate. At Jefferson High School, he is a leader, a football star, and well-respected by his peers. Aaron’s life is perfectly on track, he is pursuing a college scholarship and hopeful for the future, except for just one thing: Aaron Garrett is gay. When a former child star from Aaron’s small Southern town saturates the national media after making homophobic comments, Aaron’s life is turned upside down as supporters rally around the sentiments. Social media attention begins to swell nationally and locally until it begins to eat away at every part of Aaron’s existence.

Enjoy an excerpt:

The news show began airing the same video interview that had been playing on every news station all weekend long. Jonathon Jenkins was an aged, shorter-than-average former child star with beady eyes and a sleazy goatee. “Homosexual activity is what is wrong with this society, period. Homosexuals, drunkards, sinners—they are tearing us away from the Lord. I am not scared to say that this liberal doctrine toward gays is what is tearing at our society’s moral fiber, and I for one won’t stand for it. It starts with the gays and homos, and then it just goes on from there—beastiality, child predators. It’s all the same. It is absolutely sick that these individuals act like it’s natural for these homosexual relationships to even exist, let alone that they should be allowed to marry or form any union under our government. Just the thought of these despicable sinners—well, it just makes me physically ill. When they all burn in hell, I won’t cry over it.”

“Did you hear about this?” Sherry asked her son. “You know he’s from here.”

“Yeah, it’s been on the news all weekend. You couldn’t really miss it. And he lived here when he was like seven, Mom.”

Aaron noticed the story a couple nights ago when his Facebook feed exploded with comments regarding Jenkins’s statement. While a few responses trickled in to rebut the words of the former Kids in Charge actor, the majority were posts supporting his moral stand.


Krissy Bells was born and raised in the Detroit metro area. A former school secretary, she now spends her days as a stay-at-home mom. She is passionate about her family and friends, her Dachshund named Harry, and anything topped with cheese or chocolate. Krissy can be contacted at authorkrissybells@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!

Goodreads - Authorpage:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7905172.Krissy_Bells

Amazon - Author Page:
http://www.amazon.com/Krissy-Bells/e/B00IPS6FWQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1395853053&sr=8-1

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/krissy.bells.5
Enter to win!

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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Tease Me Thursday #8: Be My Human

Friday's almost here, right? So it must be time for more Tease Me Thursday!



Today's excerpt comes from Be My Human, the second book in the Moonlit Skies series by MA Church and me. It will be out later this fall from Dreamspinner Press. You might remember Reed and Taz from the first book, Be My Alien. I don't think I need to set the scene, it speaks for itself. Enjoy! And don't forget to follow the other authors in the blog hop, whose links follow my excerpt!


Reed had Taz pressed against the door of their apartment, kissing him for all he was worth, when his cell went off. He recognized the little jangle that blared out of his phone as his mom’s ring tone. Talk about being cockblocked in a major way.

“Need to answer that,” Reed panted into Taz’s mouth.

“Okay.” Taz rubbed his body against Reed’s, clutching at him.

“Shit, babe.” Reed grabbed Taz’s hands. He barely managed to stop him from shredding one of his better silk shirts. Those claws of his boyfriend’s were something else.

The phone stopped ringing and Reed shrugged. Some things were more important than a phone conversation, right? Just as he resumed his exploration of Taz, the same damn song rang out again.

“Fuck!” Reed squirmed as he dug his cell out of his pants. “Just hold that thought, babe. This won’t take long.”

“I need,” Taz whimpered.

And now for the link:


Virtual Book Tour: Son of a Itch

Please welcome author S.D. Skye, who is here to tell us about her newest release, Son of a Itch. She will be awarding a Kindle Fire HD and a $25 Kindle Gift card to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour (US only). The more you comment, the better your chances of winning. To find out where the other stops in the tour are, go here.  Look for the rafflecopter at the end of this post.


The Questions
1)      You’re marooned on a small island with one person and one item of your choice—who is that person and what item do you have?

A freezer loaded with Ben and Jerry’s (an assortment but strawberry cheesecake at a minimum) and Henry Cavill because…well, do I really need to explain? Actually I would be good with a MacBook. A MacBook and Henry Cavill because I can’t live without writing. I can live without Ben and Jerry’s…even though I won’t be happy about it.








   2)    Which musical would you say best exemplifies your life – and which character in that musical are you?

My Fair Lady and Eliza Doolitle. I selected this musical because I have really evolved a lot as a woman,
writer, and a person—but I’ve still got a long way to go. So I’d say I’m about half way through the film. I’ve always been a tomboy and not particularly ladylike all my life. I’ve never been into buying shoes which is sacrilegious in some circles, but slowly I’m finding my girly qualities and I own lots of shoes now…even though I regularly rotate between two or three pairs. What? Babysteps. I’m getting there. 

3)      Take these three words and give me a 100 word or less scenario using them:  night, union,  minute

Liza’s bare, honey-colored back collapsed against the pillow, her skin drenched in his perspiration and her thoughts equally soaked in disappointment. She listened as he struggled to catch his breath, her eyebrows furled in confusion at the notion that his thirsty dog panting had resulted from a union that had lasted just short of a minute. Smothering him with goose-filled mound of fluff behind her back during the blackness of night seemed a better far better option than looking at his sorry mug in the light of dawn. 

4)      You’ve just been let loose in the world of fiction, with permission to make love to anyone you want. Who do you choose and why?

Oh my! Who would I choose? Hmmm…maybe Jack Reacher because I love tall men and he’s like 6’3” and a badass. I like badasses. Not the Tom Cruise version though…although if Tom were a few inches taller I might consider him as well. 

  5)    What is your idea of how to spend romantic time with your significant other?

Honestly, I’m the kind of girl who just like to chill, eat pizza and watch movies and sports (see #2). The more comfortable I am and the better the conversation, the more romantic I feel. I’ve just come to realize I’m a bit of a nerd magnet. I don’t like fake scenes and I’m not keen on non-jewelry related surprises. The more we can enjoy an evening according to the K.I.S.S. principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid), the more romantic it will be for me.

6)      When you start a new story, do you begin with a character, or a plot?

I always begin with the characters. In this J.J. McCall series, the first thing that came to me was the character’s name. It was only after weeks of thought that I came up with the idea to model the character after one of the agents I worked with at the FBI. The name J.J. McCall just sounded like it belonged to a no-nonsense badass woman who gets the job done, and that’s really what she turned out to be…even though she has her softer side when it comes to the love triangle and her relationship with Tony Donato.  In every book I’ve written, I hear the voices first and then basically I follow them in my thoughts and transcribe. 

7)      If they were to make the story of your life into a movie, who should play you?

This is a tough one. I don’t know if there’s a woman out there who can pull off the quasi-schizophrenic
tomboy, single mom, novelist, proposal writer, daughter, friend, and all around smarty pants. Who is the actress that played Sybil? I want to say it was Sally Field. So her. We know she can handle multiple personalities.
8)      Who’s your favorite horror villain and why?

This is a trick question because horror is the one genre I don’t watch or read. The last one I saw was in the 90s when Jason and Freddy were popular. If I had to choose one of them, I’d have to go with Freddy. He had a lot more personality. And there’s nothing better than having a psychotic killer deliver a comedic line before he slashes your throat. What’s not to love about that?

9)      Do you have an historical crush and if so, who is it?


I would have to say the Kennedys, especially JFK. Again, I’ve always been attracted to badasses (see #4) and he was a political badass at a critical time in U.S. history. As a former intelligence analyst in the Russian program, outmaneuvering Khrushchev during the Cuban missile crisis was pretty darn impressive. 

   10)   Is there a story that you’d like to tell but you think the world isn’t ready to receive it?

J.J. McCall is THE story I decided to write but that I’m not sure the world is ready to receive. It has everything in the world going against it because it’s unfamiliar territory and features unfamiliar characters all around.

I mean, we start with a non-traditional lead character—an African American female FBI agent targeting Russian spies—and her father is former Black Panther, of all things. And she has a superpower of sorts in that she’s a human lie detector.

 Her love interest’s family is part of the Italian Mob “royal family” and he’s done the unthinkable in becoming an FBI agent. Then you have an African American male, Grayson “Six” Chance, as a CIA case officer. When’s the last time you saw that kind of character in a book or movie? Then you have this melting pot of secondary Caucasian Americans, African Americans, Russians and Russian Americans, Italian Americans cast in the spy/mob/romance/action/suspense/mystery novel. It doesn’t fit neatly into anyone’s category. It’s not a white book or an African American book. It’s a spy thriller but not only a spy thriller. It’s a romance, but not only a romance. It’s got humor, but not only humor. It’s got suspense and mystery…but, well you get the drift. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what in the world I was smoking when I came up with this idea. I mean, I could’ve easily gone with a simple romance and it probably would’ve found a wider audience. Sometimes women are afraid to read it because they think it’ll be too manly…and men are afraid to read it because they think it’ll be too girly. But no one would believe it’s the perfect balance of both—and men have actually been the most faithful readers of the series. 

At the end of the day, I cannot even begin to express how proud I am of this character, these stories, and how incredibly fun they are to write. I can only hope my energy and enthusiasm for the characters and stories bleed through every word on the page and the readers get hooked.  



Son of a Itch
by S. D. Skye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~





BLURB:

On the lam from the FBI, the ICE PHANTOM continues with plans to defect to Moscow but not before seeking revenge on J.J. McCall. Meanwhile, the FBI commences Task Force PHANTOM HUNTER, a team ordered by Director Russell Freeman to track down suspected Russian illegals within the U.S. Intelligence Community—and not a moment too soon. An agent of the Russian Intelligence Services is targeting the nerve center of U.S. national security, taking the lie-detecting FBI Agent and her cohorts’ next mole hunt to the highest echelons of the U.S. government.

J.J. and her co-case agent lead the motley crew of spy catchers while she struggles to deal with sobriety, conflicting feelings for Tony and Six, and an egotistical Secret Service agent whose jurisdictional stonewalling complicates her every effort to identify the culprit before he gets away—with murder.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCERPT:


Exactly three moments defined the entire course of J.J.’s being —the day she got “the itch,” the generational curse that sparked random irritating tingles through her body anytime she heard a lie; the day her mother died; and this one, the day in which she grasped the fragility of life and how it could slip away in an instant.         

The ambulance siren blared down Pennsylvania Avenue through the remnants of rush hour traffic as she stared down at his tearful eyes, his face shredded with pain, his body curled with anguish. Slowly, his lids opened to expose a bloodshot blank stare. She saw her mother’s eyes in his, and his last breath whispered in the distance, drawing ever near.

“I’m here. You’re going to be okay. We’re almost there,” she said as her voice shook.

George Washington University Hospital was just a few minutes away and had one of the best trauma centers in the D.C. area.

He placed his trembling hand on hers and struggled to speak. “There…something…you should…kn—”

“Shhhh. Save your strength,” J.J. shook her head to dissuade him from speaking. She stroked his fingers and tried to maintain a steady front. “You’re gonna be okay. You can tell me everything when you’re better.”

Her mind whirred as the ambulance zipped into the circular driveway beneath the overhang and masked emergency personnel in blue and green scrubs swarmed the doors. They pulled the gurney out and wheeling him inside, beyond her view. She’d never felt so alone in her life. She had calls to make, people to notify, but her mind was still foggy from the shock.

She searched her purse for the flask, the reminder of just how far she’d come and how much further she had to go.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR Bio and Links:
S.D. Skye is a former FBI Russian Counterintelligence Program Intelligence Analyst and supported two major programs during her 12-year tenure at the Bureau. She has personally witnessed the blowback the Intelligence Community suffered due to the most significant compromises in U.S. history, including the arrests of former CIA Case Officer Aldrich Ames and Robert  Hanssen. She spent 20+ years supporting military and intelligence missions in the U.S. Intelligence Community.

Skye, an award winning author, is a member of the Maryland Writer’s Association, Romance Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and International Thriller Writers. She’s addicted to writing and chocolate—not necessarily in that order—and currently lives in the Washington D.C. area with her son. Skye is hard at work on several projects, including the next installment of this exciting series.

Blog: www.authorsdskye.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorsdskye

Twitter: www.twitter.com/sdskye1

Buy Links

S.D. Skye Novels on Amazon – Kindle and Paperback

http://www.amazon.com/S.D.-Skye/e/B00AMAUFK8/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1

S.D. Skye Novels on Kindle – Worldwide Links

http://authl.it/zn






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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Wednesday Briefs: Dallas in Wonderland II: Chapter Fifteen

Happy Wednesday and welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Briefs! I hope everyone is having a wonderful week, and staying safe. It's been a rough week, weather-wise, hasn't it? Hopefully it's behind us for a while.

As you know, since it's Wednesday, we have some flash fiction for you! Last week, in Dallas II, Dallas and Campbell crossed the strawberry river and found their way to a small cottage in the woods. Find out what happens in this week's chapter. Then be sure to see what the other flashers are up to! Their links follow my tale!  Enjoy!

Dallas in Wonderland II: Chapter Fifteen


“A feast? That sounds wonderful! Sorry to intrude,” Campbell apologized.

“No apologies needed,” the first twin declared. Mentally, Dallas dubbed him #1.

“And none accepted,” came from the other, #2. Though if the twins should shift position when his back was turned, Dallas knew he’d never be able to tell them apart again.

The man by the cauldron sneezed again. Dallas was fearful he’d sneezed into the contents of the cauldron, whatever those might be. He didn’t really want to find out, either.

“The feast shall begin shortly. As soon as the others arrive,” #1 declared. From the pocket of his hunting jacket, he produced a large watch. He stared at the face of it, then pulled out a cloth from another pocket and began to polish the surface very carefully. His every movement carefully observed by #2.

When he replaced it in his pocket, the second twin turned and stalked away. It didn’t take a weatherman to know a storm was brewing here.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Dallas said politely, “but we really can’t stay. Smells wonderful, though.”

Here the man sneezed once more. Without turning around, #1 barked, “Wendell, please!” Dallas assumed that Wendell was the sneezing man until the other twin, with a loud sigh, approached the sneezer and began to pound him on his back. Which brought on a few more short sneezes.

“It does smell divine, doesn’t it?” The first twin took a deep breath and exhaled it, as if to trump the sigh of his brother. “This was for the queen, you know.” He leaned toward Dallas and Campbell and muttered in a confidential tone that carried through the whole room easily. “Chosen we were to cater the queen’s birthday party. You have no idea what an honor that is.”

“I can imagine,” Campbell politely replied when it became apparent a response was required.

“Indeed.” #1 sniffed loudly.

“It’s not my fault, William,” Wendell protested. He took a container and began to vigorously shake its contents into the cauldron, which only served to exacerbate the man’s sneezing into loud explosions of sound that seemed to shake the very walls of the dwelling.

Wendell shoved the container into the man’s hand, before stomping across the room to his brother. “You know it’s not my fault,” he repeated, the whine in his voice increasing in pitch. “How was I to know the queen was in a bad mood? I tried to help!”

“And how did you try to help?” The sarcasm in William’s voice was unmistakable.

Wendell’s lower lip pushed out, giving him the appearance of a naughty child. “I made some tarts.”

“Tarts. Exactly. I rest my case.” William turned toward Dallas and Campbell, a note of exultation in his voice.

A little voice in the back of Dallas’ head told him this was not going to end well. He reached for Campbell’s arm, intending to back from the room and out the door. Too late.

“What’s wrong with tarts?” Campbell innocently asked.

“What’s wrong with tarts? What’s wrong with tarts?” William’s voice rose another octave. Dallas and Campbell both winced. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with tarts. It reminds the queen of the tart she lost. And then she gets all grumpy wumpy. And then—” He made a swiping gesture across his throat with one finger.

“That means off with their heads,” Wendell confided before he scolded his twin. “Not everyone understands what you mean. You should speak plainly, Brother.”

William’s face purpled instantly, his cheeks expanding with suppressed anger.

“Oh dear, shouldn’t we do something?” Dallas looked to Campbell uncertainly.

“Oh no no, don’t worry, he’s just throwing a tantrum. He’s holding his breath because he hasn’t gotten his own way. Don’t worry, he’ll stop in a minute.” Taking advantage of his twin’s distraction, Wendell reached into his pocket and emerged with the watch in his hand, a triumphant grin spreading over his face.

The next moment the watch had been snatched back. Wendell gave a cry and held his hand to his lips. Dallas thought he spied blood. Big fat tears rolled down Wendell’s cheeks.

“You shouldn’t hurt your brother,” Campbell chastised William. “And you can stop holding your breath. It won’t kill you. You’ll pass out before you reach that point.”

William sulkily released his pent-up breath, reminding Dallas of a deflated balloon. He turned to Wendell with a smirk. “I didn’t hurt him, he’s happy, can’t you tell?”

“Those aren’t happy tears. You hurt me, you idiot!” Wendell snapped. He’d been sucking at his wounded hand. Suddenly he lashed out and slapped his brother’s cheek. Loudly. The force of the blow was enough to cause William’s head to wobble back and forth.

In the back of the room, the man sneezed again. The twins turned in his direction and shouted in unison, “More pepper!” The man began to furiously shake pepper into the cauldron until the air was fairly thick with the stuff.

Without warning, Wendell leapt on his twin, and the two fell to the floor, arms flailing, screams filling the air. From what little Dallas could see through the thickening air, their punches were poorly aimed and their crying was more for show than for any actual injury.

Dallas sneezed, and then Campbell. It was hard not to, the pepper was flying everywhere. For a moment, Dallas thought the pig on the table sneezed.

“Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed Campbell’s hand.

“That’s my watch,” Dallas heard Wendell scream. “Give it back, back, back!”

“No, no, no!” that was William now. And then their outraged cries became screeches as they continued to roll about on the floor.

Dallas and Campbell felt their way to the door and beat a hasty retreat, shutting the madness behind them.

They wiped at their streaming eyes, randomly sneezing, although the fresh air helped their breathing.

“This Wonderland is a very strange place,” Campbell observed. He patted Dallas gently on the back.

“Tell me about it.” Dallas rolled his eyes.

to be continued

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